i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
