i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
