It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
