I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
