fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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