I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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