I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
