I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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