I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
