You can't special order awesome
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
