So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
being pregnant is like rehab
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
