I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
