Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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