i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
