Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
