that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
