Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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