did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
