Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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