I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
