I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
