Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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