Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
