last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
