Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
