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i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
