he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
