I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My hand turned me down
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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