I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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