hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
