Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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