Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
