Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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