Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
