do herpes really smell.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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