how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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