Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
