grandma shit on top of the toilet
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
