erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
