I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
