I wish I only lived at night.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I have feelings that need drinking.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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