I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
