he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
