Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm having to shit out rocks
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
