This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
