You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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