I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
