I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
