Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
