i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The uberlube is also flammable
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
