i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
